Vancouver's worst dressed list

10-Presumably German figure skaters Robin Szolkowy and Aliona Savchenko were warned: "Don't wear that, you'll look like clowns." Savchenko's tear may not actually be painted on.

CLOWNS

9-Ski jumper Andreas Kofler pairs a salmon pink helmet with a yellow plastic poncho. Let's hope he took that thing off before jumping.

KOFLER

8-Kevin van der Perren was 12th in the figure skating short program. He's clearly better suited to the skeleton.

VDPERREN

7-Do not adjust your monitor. French snowboarder Mathieu Crepel's moustache really is painted on. In 2014 he's going to get a string of onions and a beret done.

CREPEL

6-Two words for Tomas Verner's get-up: Hello. Sailor.

VERNER

5-Magdalena Neuner adds an elaborate bobble hat to her nuclear fallout suit as she collects biathlon gold. Call it 'meltdown chic'.

NEUNER

4-This is US ice hockey goalie Jonathan Quick's helmet. Presumably he is hoping opponents will aim for the back of his head, not the back of the net.

QUICK

Bronze medal: Swiss couple Antoine Dorsaz and Anais Morand aim for the WAG vote, looking a vision in Burberry.

MORANDDORSAZ

Silver medal: It is bad enough that the Japanese speed skaters have to sport a gold costume, modelled here by Joji Kato, but the g-string effect pushes this to a ridiculous level of campness.

KATO

Gold medal: The Norwegian team bring a flavour of golf to the curling rink. Shirts by Tiger Woods, trousers by Ian Poulter.

NORWAY

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