Premier League - Papers: Fergie clashes with Dalglish clan
The rivalry between Sir Alex Ferguson and Kenny Dalglish reaches all the way back to a reserve fixture between Celtic and Rangers in 1969, when Fergie told his teenage opponent "you'll need a doctor after this".
But now the Manchester United manager has extended the feud to King Kenny's daughter.
Kelly Cates interviewed the United boss in her guise as a reporter for ITV following their 1-1 draw against Benfica in the Champions League on Wednesday night. However, Mrs Cates became the latest journalist to fall foul of the notoriously prickly Fergie when daring to ask about the Scot's plans for Sunday's game against Chelsea.
After a superb performance from Anders Lindegaard in Lisbon, Cates had the audacity to query whether he and not summer signing David De Gea would start against the Blues, leading to a withering reply from Ferguson that forms the basis of the back-page splash on The Independent, as well as being heavily featured in The Sun, The Guardian and the Daily Express.
"I don't know why you ask these questions, you're just looking for stupid little things," he said. "David will play on Sunday. That was the understanding we had before the game and it doesn't change. Anyway it proves we have two fantastic keepers."
Strangely enough, it is not the first time Fergie and the Dalglish clan have been involved in a post-match daughter row. Following a match between Liverpool and Manchester United in 1988, King Kenny said of Ferguson and his six-week-old Lauren: "You might as well talk to my daughter. You'll get more sense."
Liverpool also find themselves making headlines for the wrong reasons on Thursday morning with the club confirming they will open an investigation into reserve striker Nathan Eccleston after he took to Twitter to claim, on the 10th anniversary of 9/11, that the attacks on America were not the work of terrorists, but instead the shadowy secret society of the Illuminati.
A statement from Liverpool, made to the Liverpool Echo but carried in the national papers this morning, read: "The club takes this extremely seriously and we have informed Nathan Eccleston that we are investigating these postings and will decide on an appropriate course of action."
It wouldn't be a paper round-up without a reference to Fernando Torres's travails at Chelsea and the Daily Mail reports that in a bid to help him find his shooting boots, the Blues have allocated fellow Spaniard Juan Mata to take the locker next to his in the dressing room.
However, we would dispute the notion that this is an example of Andre Villas-Boas taking "extraordinary lengths" to help Torres get some goals to his name. They've only shifted around their lockers, haven't they?
The Europa League looms into view on Thursday evening but Fulham's £10.6 million record signing Bryan Ruiz will not be able to play in the competition as he is cup-tied after representing FC Twente in the Champions League. The forward is "disgusted" according to manager Martin Jol, who let slip that he kept the Costa Rican in the dark over his eligibility when holding off interest from Newcastle United on transfer deadline day. Sneaky.
"He thought he could play but he couldn't," says Jol in many of the morning's papers. "It was an advantage for us because if he'd known it could have been a problem.
"I knew it but he thought he could play. Just after signing he said 'I thought I could play' - I said 'No you can't'. I don't agree with this rule. He was pretty disgusted as well. Maybe if they were playing in the same competition okay, but this is a different competition."
There aren't too many transfer tales around on Thursday morning but the most eye-catching one comes in the Daily Mirror with a report that Blackpool boss Ian Holloway is attempting to sign El-Hadji Diouf. The combination of one of football's good guys and one of its bad boys should make for compulsive viewing at Bloomfield Road.
The Sun, meanwhile, reports that Manchester United youngster Paul Pogba is wanted on loan at Burnley.