Champions League - Paper Round: Euro thrash!
Eurosport - Thu, 16 Sep 09:17:00 2010
The Daily Mail takes credit for the 'Euro thrash' headline - although surely it should have been one word? - with the Mirror's 'Ten against boys' being another highlight. Even the broadsheets get in on the action, with the Daily Telegraph gushing about Arsenal's 'Six shooters' and the Guardian going all Benny Hill with a reference to the Gunners' 'Joy of Six'.
The Sun eschewed a clever headline, instead going for a giant number 10 filled with grinning images of the night's goalscorers - and with a sub-headline declaring 'Gunners, Blues, show Fergie how it's done'.
Do we detect a touch of gloating from the papers' London-based headline writers? Oh yes. But then again, considering the performances of Arsenal and Chelsea last night you'd have to say that those bragging rights were earned fair-and-square.
One of the many side-effects of England's gruesome display at the World Cup was the difficulty the FA has faced in finding a new sponsor for the England team.
The Sun carries a story this morning saying the FA are desperate to get a deal in place by Christmas - yet there is a dearth of offers, with one marketing guru claiming that "there is a lack of companies willing to associate themselves with the England team".
Weirdly, the Daily Star has a story saying that actually there are three firms who have stepped up and are in advanced talks with the organisation about signing a sponsorship deal - with one offer apparently on the table and a potential bidding war shaping up.
Who is right? Naturally, PR turned to the pages of The Guardian to find out... but their tedious and impenetrable account of the FA's finances failed to mention the sponsorship question. At least, it failed to mention it in the first two paragraphs, which is as far as PR got before a crushing migraine set in.
And Liverpool manager Roy Hodgson has hit back at Jamie Redknapp for his scathing attack on Fernando Torres at the weekend. Hodgson claims it is ridiculous for a pundit to make a judgement on a player's state of mind based on 90 minutes of football, thereby intentionally missing the entire point of punditry: make ill-informed, snap judgements about things, and put them across as vehemently and shockingly as possible so as to generate maximum outrage.
And finally, Argentina and Barcelona superstar Lionel Messi told The Sun that Wayne Rooney and Steven Gerrard are his favourite players when the paper caught up with him during an Adidas-sponsored publicity trip to Hackney Marshes.
But given the studiously PR-managed dullness of the rest of Messi's answers in the interview you can be sure he'd have switched those names for Cristiano Ronaldo if he'd been in Portugal and David Villa if he'd been in Spain.
To save you 20p, however, here are the rest of the highlights of the least scintillating interview of the millennium so far:
"I'm a normal guy," insisted Messi. "I don't read books," he added, before revealing that "I wasn't teased as a child", "I like the quiet life" and that "I like my charity work with my foundation helping children across the world".