Premier League - Papers: Who kicked the Wembley wall?

Tue, 19 Apr 08:57:00 2011

There is one story that has got everybody talking today - the reported damage done to the Manchester United dressing room wall at Wembley by an unknown offender.

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Take a look at the punsome headlines:

The Times: 'United in a hole lot of trouble'

Daily Mail: 'United put the boot in'

The Sun: 'Who put boot into Wembley wall?'

Daily Mirror: 'Trashed'

Independent: 'United expected to foot bill over damage to Wembley dressing room'

Daily Star: 'United hit the wall'

Daily Expres: 'Hole in the wall gang'

You might think, then, that United are in trouble. A 'hole' lot of it, in fact.

And yet a glance below the big font writing suggests the Reds are in line for nothing more draconian than a stern letter from the FA reminding them that smashing up dressing rooms isn't really the done thing.

Matt Hughes writes in The Times: "The FA will write to Manchester United to remind them of their responsibilities," adding: "The FA has no plans to ask United to pay the repair bill, but will stress in a letter that vandalism is not acceptable, irrespective of the context."

Even The Independent, whose sub-editors could not resist that delicious "foot the bill" pun, only claims the FA are considering whether to invoice United.

And in any case, the total cost of repairs are estimated at "no more than £50", which buys you roughly six and a half minutes of Michael Carrick's time - so hardly the stiffest penalty.

The Sun ignores the tiresome logistics of fixing the hole in the Wembley wall, and launches straight into a full-scale 'whodunnit' - coming up with those cheeky Cluedo characters and pointing out the offence took place in 'the manager's area'.

Meanwhile United apparently insist that none of their players were involved, putting the two Owens - Michael and Hargreaves - firmly in the frame.

Just what did Michael Owen mean when he tweeted 'that hurt!' after the game? Did he crack a metatarsal booting the wall? Almost certainly not, but it's fun to speculate.

Meanwhile, Alex Ferguson's claim that he will clear out the dregs of his squad this summer has started another guessing game.

The two Owens are almost certain to leave, and could be joined by Wes Brown, Darron Gibson, Gabriel Obertan, Bebe and Tomasz Kuszczak - while Edwin van der Sar is retiring and Paul Scholes could go the same way.

Elsewhere, The Sun claims Manchester City's FA Cup semi-final win against United has saved Roberto Mancini's job as manager.

Let's see how Sheikh Mansour feels about that when they lose to Stoke in the final...

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