Cow Corner

  • In a league of his Eoin

    Eoin Morgan's stock continued to skyrocket quicker than Shafiul Islam's economy rate as the diminutive dasher smashed a stunning 110 to spare England the ignominy of a series-levelling defeat against Bangladesh.

    The irrepressible Morgan was utterly nerveless as England's lower order reacted with such desperate panic you wondered if Owais Shah had suddenly been deployed as a runner in the middle as Stuart Broad was hastily shifted down to number 11 with a dodgy back.

    England's number five batted with all the composure and poise of Michael Bevan in his pomp, only without the gum-chewing and

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  • Things can only get Kieswetter

    The latest name to slide off the 'I've served my time' conveyer belt is Craig 'brace yourself' Kieswetter, and the big-hitting, big-talking 22-year-old is now ready to bulldoze his way into Alastair Cook's Test side in Bangladesh.

    Kieswetter's official nickname, according to the ever-jovial Marcus Trescothick, is 'Hobnob'. His opening partner politely declined to explain why, but needless to say that the batsman is the 'home of banter' in the Taunton dressing room.

    The wicketkeeper-batsman qualified for England last week and, quicker than you could say 'Hard lines James Foster', the former

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  • ‘Fetch that’ Morgan dazzles in Dubai

    Eoin Morgan slapped, swished, smacked and
    spanked the white cherry around like Shahid Afridi in his pomp, while the
    ball-eating all-rounder sat stroking his stubble and wondering how a diminutive
    Irishman was left to steal the show in Dubai.

    Morgan adopted the 'Fetch that' approach
    favoured by Afridi himself during his belligerent and uncompromising 67 as
    England remained on course for a series whitewash against a Pakistan team,
    minus its captain, chief selector and coach.

    Pakistan skipper Shoaib Malik (yes, it
    changes every match) could barely veil his beaming smile as he elected to bat
    first

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  • Cook with Carbs in Bangladesh

    Michael Carberry was ready to quit cricket for good in 2005, but now the prolific left-hander who, along with Dimi Mascarenhas keeps Argos' Elizabeth Duke in business, stands on the brink of a first Test cap for the tour to Bangladesh.

    The Hampshire batsman is widely expected to open the batting with Alastair Cook at Chittagong in March, but the two batsmen's progression could not have been more polarised: one utterly serene and leading to the captaincy, and one the culmination of years of frustration and mental turmoil.

    At 29, the Hampshire player stands to become the oldest specialist

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  • Colly clubbing can’t prevent Jo’burg drubbing

    England's batting was as inept and reckless as umpire Daryl Harper's decision-making as the tourists imploded in their second innings with South Africa storming back to share the Basil D'Oliveira Trophy at the Wanderers.

    Paul Collingwood woke up on the fourth morning having been hypnotised into thinking he was Denis Compton, and proceeded to unfurl a staggering array of strokes around the Bullring as he was left to wonder why everyone was so shocked.

    Collingwood's wagon-wheel looked like it had been pinched from a Sir Vivian Richards archive as Brigadier Block was transformed into Captain

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  • Maiden Test ton for Harper

    Congratulations to umpire Daryl Harper who compiled his maiden Test century on days two and three of the fourth Test between England and South Africa.

    With the benefit of video replays and a stump microphone feed, albeit used by the Australian as background music, Smith should have been dismissed for 15 and AB de Villiers for 11 but Harper instead racked up an impressive ton to put England firmly under the cosh at the Wanderers.

    Batsman Status Runs
    GC Smith c MJ Prior b RJ Sidebottom 15
    DJ Harper MASSIVE INCOMPETENCE 137
    AG Prince c GP Swann b SCJ Broad 19
    HM Amla c MJ Prior b SCJ Broad 75
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  • He’s Peter Moores, but with added Zyl

    Okay, so a successful and experienced coach is at the helm for a long
    period of time, only to resign disillusioned and pave the way for a
    young coach apparently "working wonders" in the national academy. Does
    anyone spot the similarities?

    After beating England away from home for the first time in 40 years and securing a maiden series win in Australia, it is fair to say that Mickey Arthur had achieved the equivalent of leading a side containing Geraint Jones and Ashley Giles to an Ashes success.

    But it is one thing to note the obvious similarities between Arthur and his close friend, former

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  • Ashes fever hits new low

    The World Twenty20 is now a distant memory, it's Ashes, Ashes, Ashes.

    Australia are in action at Hove, England are at some camp before their match with Warwickshire, you can't go more than 10 minutes without some minority TV channel telling you that you can watch every ball in HD and, worst of all, someone has brought out an Ashes record.

    Sadly this song, and we quote the PR guff that accompanies it, features former England cricketer and current TV personality Phil 'The Cat' Tufnell (pictured). Here is the video for the song that he has produced which is designed to help cheer England on

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  • The 2009 Ashes are on fire

    After a slow start, the 2009
    Ashes series came to life on Sunday, delivering a dramatic finish to rank
    alongside the nerve-jangling conclusions to the Edgbaston and Old Trafford
    Tests of 2005.

    Nobody expected England to hold
    on. Andrew Strauss's men had been so comprehensively outplayed in the first
    four days in Cardiff
    that you almost felt sorry for them.

    And Australia don't
    do sympathy.

    When Kevin Pietersen and
    Andrew Strauss resumed at 20-2, England
    still had a glimmer of hope, but you felt at least one of the partnership had
    to make a big century to keep it alive.

    Both fell, committing

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  • Harper Howler Daily: Pump up the volume

    Umpire Daryl Harper is fast becoming the Paul Burrell of cricket: largely inept, hard of hearing, and seemingly entrenched in the news for the wrong reasons.

    'Harper's howler', now a daily feature expected to be acknowledged in the latest edition of Wisden, involved a comical sequence of events which included the umpire not adjusting the volume of his stump microphone to discover the rather distinctive sound of willow on leather.

    On a day of toil for the tourists, South Africa skipper Graeme Smith survived a moment of huge controversy while on 15 as he middled the ball behind to Matt Prior,

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