Cow Corner

Taxi for Fred

Cow Corner

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On Monday, Andrew Flintoff made just eight as Lancashire slumped to an embarrassing two-run Friends Provident Trophy defeat to KwaZulu Natal Guest XI, or Scotland as they are sometimes known.

Today, the 30-year-old England all-rounder is in court after he was alleged to have been clocked driving at 87mph in a temporary 50mph zone of the M62.

Freddie obviously needs a chauffeur. If it's not cars, it's pedalos and we can only suggest he sits in the passenger seat on jet skis, wakeboards or anything else that moves faster than 10mph in the future.

He's not the first England player to have had trouble behind the wheel. Liam Plunkett was banned from driving for 20 months after hitting the back of another car at a set of traffic lights whilst over the limit.

We're sure the Durham bowler was aiming to miss the stationary vehicle by at least five yards but was having his all too frequent radar problems.

There are other international cricketers of recent vintage who have fought the law and lost.

In 2006, former England opener Wayne Larkins pleaded guilty to attempting to illegally obtain a mortgage and was given a given a 12 month suspended sentence.

While ex Indian opener and crackpot commentator Navjot Sidhu (who once said when Nick Knight was batting in an ODI "if the heavens throw you dates, you got to keep your mouth open") later that year was found guilty of culpable homicide after beating up a man over a parking row.

However top billing in the half of shame quite comfortably goes to the West Indian fast bowler of the thirties, Leslie Hylton.

Hylton was executed in Jamaica in 1955 after being found guilty of murdering his wife the previous year after she had confessed to adultery.

Hylton told the court that he was attempting to shoot himself but had missed - let's hope Plunkett never feels the need to top himself in a crowded room.

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Last weekend was the first game of the season for most club cricketers and Cowers, still revelling in El Nino induced soft wickets, managed to claim 4-15 in an unspecified location somewhere inside the M25.

Small fry indeed compared to Sagar Kulkarni who hit 18 sixes and 23 fours in a crowd endangering Twenty20 match in Singapore. His remarkable 219 from 56 balls for Marina Club was "entertaining".

On day one of Cow Corner we launched our quest to adopt a club side of quite stunning mediocrity and we are pleased to announce that both our sides lost on Saturday.

Birdlip & Brimpsfield 2s - despite 47 from Allan Partridge - "Did you see that?! He must have a bat like a traction engine!!" made just 160 and Chalford 2 polished them off for the loss of seven wickets.

And it gets no bigger than Cambridgeshire Cricket Association Junior League Division 2C and our brave boys from Haslingfield CC were skittled for just 64 by Elmdon CC.

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THE ECB CONSOLATION AWARD GOES TO: The people of Manchester who after being ignored in preference of Cardiff for next year's Ashes were rewarded with two Twenty20 matches between England and Australia. 

TALKING POINT: Have we missed any cricketers who have been in a spot of mischief? Know of any incredible poor performances in your local league last weekend?

COMING UP: At 3.30pm it's Chennai v Deccan in the IPL.

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