Early Doors

Aguero enters the strikers’ graveyard

Early Doors

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Even if Manchester City have not, at the time of writing
confirmed it, Sergio Aguero's Twitter page says he has joined the club and
that's good enough for Early Doors.

City's only nod to the signing exists in their squad list
for the Dublin Super Cup, which reads: "Strikers: Mario Balotelli, Edin Dzeko, John
Guidetti, Andrea Mancini, plus one other."

Please say
it's Uwe Rosler.

Modern football is almost completely without mystery, so we
have all seen Aguero play loads of times. To summarise - small yet strong,
quick, skilful and a superb finisher. Plays up front but can drop deep.

A bit like Carlos Tevez, in fact, but significantly less
furious at the world.

Despite the inevitable early-career hype, Aguero is not the
new Diego Maradona. However, his son is - Aguero is married to Maradona's
daughter, which rather puts things into perspective for anyone who thinks they
have difficult in-laws.

English football being what it is, ED suggests he drops the
nickname 'Kun', due to its similarity to a very bad word.

Apparently, the name comes from his apparent resemblance to a
Japanese anime character named Kum Kum, spotted by his grandparents when he was a sprog - judge for yourself.

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When Aguero asked to leave Atletico in May, he cited his
reason not as money or silverware, but personal development. 

He said: "I have thought about it a lot and I am
convinced I must be true to myself. I don't think I should impose a limit on the chance of continuing
to learn and grow. After five intense years a stage in my personal development
has ended and I have to move on to a new one."

Looking at the other strikers still on City's books, a move
to the Etihad Stadium gives him plenty of learning opportunities. 

Emmanuel Adebayor can give him the perfect taunting celebration
should he score against Atletico Madrid.

Craig Bellamy can teach him English, since it is an iron law
of learning any language that you start with the swear words (and that nickname
gives him a head start).

Mario Balotelli can help Aguero settle into the local way of
life - ED hears he is excellent at darts, and is on first-name terms with every
traffic warden in the North-West.

Roque Santa Cruz can offer tips on how to make Edin Dzeko
better - in Santa Cruz's, it is by offering such atrocious value for money (£17m,
two seasons, four goals) it makes Dzeko's six-goal debut campaign appear
positively prolific.

And then there's dear old Carlos Tevez, who can offer his
compatriot life coaching. You might be making a career out of something you
love, getting paid millions of pounds and basking in the admiration of the
fans, but that doesn't mean you should be satisfied. Or ever crack a smile. Or
stop complaining about your lot in life. Or make earning £200,000-a-week to
kick a ball about look like anything but a chore.

Welcome to the strikers' graveyard, Sergio.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:  "I am not alone, I am not a dictator as has been said, I am
not alone, I work with my executive committee, with my administration, and with
a lot of advisors." Sepp Blatter; not a dictator - part of a whole team
of dictators
.

Also, Karl-Heinz
Rummenigge explodes the myth that it's only the English who are fed up with
FIFA: "Sepp Blatter is saying he is cleaning up the game, but the
fact that no-one believes him, tells you everything you need to know. I'm not
optimistic because they believe the system is working perfectly as it is. It is
a money-machine. It is a nice game but it is decided by people who are corrupt.
I am not ready to accept the system as it is and I am not alone."

FOREIGN VIEW: CRAZY CURTAIN-RAISER ALERT!!

ED won't give you any details about France's Trophee des
Champions
last night other than the timing of the goals. 

Lille 1-0 Marseille - Balmont 9'

Lille 2-0 Marseille - Hazard 57'

Lille 2-1 Marseille - Ayew 71'

Lille 3-1 Marseille - Sow 72'

Lille 3-2 Marseille - Morel 85'

Lille 3-3 Marseille - Remy 87'

Lille 3-4 Marseille - Ayew 90' (pen)

Lille 4-4 Marseille - Basa 90+2'

Lille 4-5 Marseille - Ayew 90+5' (pen)

In. Croy. Able.

COMING UP: Europa League action in the shape of Radnicki
Split v Fulham (18:30)

and Stoke v Hajduk Split (19:45). Plus a return to Istanbul for Liverpool:
Galatasaray v Liverpool (20:00).

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