When Leo Messi's son Thiago was born 11 months ago, the World Footballer of the Year and his partner moved to an exclusive apartment in the Pedralbes neighborhood of Catalonia.
The property was ideal for a young family in many ways, but there are a couple of problems.
It is just 1,300 sq ft, roughly the size of a normal four-bedroom house, and therefore significantly smaller than Cristiano Ronaldo's wardrobe.
Even worse, he shares the pool with 16 other neighbours, like some kind of disgusting non-millionaire person. What's the point of being the world's best footballer if you still have to swim in other people's urine?
So it's no surprise to read reports in the Spanish and Argentine press that the Barcelona star is upgrading.
According to cuidad.com.ar, Messi wishes to settle in Catalonia for the remainder of his career and beyond retirement, so he has commissioned famous Spanish architect Luis de Garrido to build him an ultra-modern house.
Garrido told an Argentinian TV channel that he wanted to create a "symbolic" home that "identifies with his Messi's personality".
So, working under the assumption that his personality consists of little beyond his job, he designed the most overtly football-themed house possible:
From above, the two-storey home looks like a giant football, while the plot is landscaped to look like a field. The opponent's half will not meet FIFA regulations though, as it is made entirely from water.
Garrido has created environmentally sound homes for stars including Naomi Campbell, but it is not clear if Messi will choose to take this project beyond the design stage.
If he does, you can be quite sure Cristiano Ronaldo will commission a slightly bigger football-shaped house. And possibly a separate, slightly larger ball to use as his wardrobe.
- Leo Messi
- Cristiano Ronaldo