Early Doors

Boa noite Anderson?

Early Doors

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Anderson
could be on his way out of Manchester United following a furious bust-up with
Alex Ferguson, according to the Daily Mirror.

In a clear indication that he has not properly acclimatised
to English football, Anderson
was reportedly livid at being left out of the side for the Community Shield -
anybody with the remotest understanding of our national game would have shaken
him by the hand.

About the best thing you can say about Anderson's
two seasons at Old Trafford is that he is better than Kleberson, and Fergie may
now show him the door.

If true, then Anderson is
merely reflecting a growing trend of Brazilians failing to settle in Europe.

In April, Inter cancelled Adriano's
contract after the player, plagued by problems with alcohol and his weight,
decided he no longer wanted to be a footballer.

Two weeks later back in Brazil, he signed a contract with
Flamengo and is now having the time of his life.

Ronaldo is also plying his trade in his home country,
although he has had to run a gauntlet of transvestites, aggressive microphones
and exploding podiums.

Cicinho said he would not leave Roma for Barcelona
because he was so unhappy in Europe, and Robinho seemed to spend as much time
in Rio last season as he did in Middle
Eastlands.

- - -

Do an internet search for the BBC's
lead radio commentator and pretty
soon you'll get to a message board thread called: 'Alan Green - great or t**t?'
Nobody divides opinion quite like the gobby Ulsterman..

For what it's worth, ED considers the Five Live
commentator like shellfish, absinthe and Elton John; OK in small doses, but
prone to make it do strange things if it over-indulges.

While obviously an able play-by-play bloke, Green too
often slips into opinionated boor mode, making ED liable to shout obscentities,
throw its radio off the nearest high building or, as it did last night, laugh
hysterically.

Green, reputedly a Liverpool
fan, spent the entire second half of last night's game at Anfield bemoaning a
toothless display against Aston Villa, who led 2-0.

A Fernando Torres goal brought the home side back into
it, before a silly foul by Steven Gerrard allowed Ashley Young to make it 3-1
from the penalty spot.

This triggered Green's rage, with the commentator berating
Gerrard for losing his head.

Judging by the borderline insanity that spewed out of
ED's transistor, the Liverpool skipper might
not have been the only one.

A minute or two later, Young stayed down after a
challenge from Jamie Carragher, prompting a furious reaction from Green, who
stormed: "That's cheating! He's cheating!"

You half expected Green to rise form his commentary
position and do a full cavity search on Villa's medical staff in case any were
carrying sachets of fake blood.

Green's theory took a bit of a bashing when Young failed
to retake the field and had to be substituted.

Earlier, co-commentator Paul Jewell had to defend James
Milner against similar accusations, repeatedly saying the winger was "an honest
lad", and even after his error Green could not resist a snide "now Petrov is
feigning injury" after Villa skipper Stiliyan Petrov went down.

After the game, he snapped at host Arlo White, who had
just read out a text from a listener describing Liverpool's
performance as total rubbish.

Despite having spent 90 minutes doing exactly the same,
Green angrily dismissed the text as "drivel".

White may feel he is walking on egg shells given the
feud that developed between Green and ex-Five Live anchor Mark Saggers.

Green refused to speak to Saggers (now of Talksport) and
on one occasion nearly missed an England
qualifier in Belarus
because he would not take the same flight as the presenter.

In some ways, they were radio's answer to Andy Cole and
Teddy Sheringham; in other ways, they were much, much worse.

Meanwhile over on Sky Sports News, this morning presenter
Mike Wedderburn has been wondering aloud whether Liverpool's title bid is over.

Finished. Kaputt. With 35 games to go. It seems a strange
thing for a man from the Premier League's
major rights holder to ask. What if the viewers conclude that, yes, Liverpool are out of the title race? There would be no
point watching any of their games between now and May.

- - -

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "If I was choosing the formation, I would play Clarence Seedorf
in the hole, Pato as the main striker with Ronaldinho as second striker." And
if Early Doors were choosing an Italian Prime Minister, it wouldn't pick Silvio Berlusconi.

FOREIGN VIEW: The Japanese FA president has called Urawa
Reds manager Volker Finke unfit to coach after the German reprimanded a player for not diving to win a penalty.

"He's
not qualified to be a manager," said Motoaki Inukai. "It's unbelievable he said that. It's hopeless. Is that how low we have sunk?"

Inukai's
comments were in response to Finke's
criticism of striker Sergio Escudero for not going down under a challenge in the
penalty box during Urawa's
2-1 defeat to Hiroshima
on Saturday.

Finke fumed: "That's
what I'm the most angry about - him getting
fouled and not falling down. I'll
give him a fair play medal."

Inukai was unimpressed with the German's sarcasm.

"He should be teaching players more than
just 'fall down!' Urawa's front office needs to tell him he's wrong," said Inukai. "It's awful luck for the players to get a coach like this."

COMING UP: Plenty of live football tonight - follow all the
action as it happens in the Carling Cup, Champions League and England v Italy in the Women's
European Championship.

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