Early Doors

Overreaction theatre: Wenger must go, in Moyes me trust

Early Doors

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An Arsenal fan tells Arsene Wenger to open his wallet (Reuters)

An Arsenal fan tells Arsene Wenger to open his wallet (Reuters)

Step right up, step right up! Come on in to the overreaction theatre!

Leave your common sense at the door as we bring you the best tweets of the weekend from the overly optimistic to the painfully pessimistic. Logic and perspective have no place here.

The opening weekend of the Premier League season is in the books so it's time to panic, praise, predict and pontificate like there is no tomorrow because, in this league, the here and now is the only reality that matters.

Arsenal 1-3 Aston Villa

So how many options do you think we had for this game? I suppose if you have a blowhard celebrity fan then you can expect him to blow…hard.

But always remember through great disappointment comes great art.

Ahh poetry!

And if you can't find the words, post a video of a man who says it all for you (WARNING: Bad Language)

Or turn to drink

But if your new signing is the hero, give him a cool nickname and instant legendary status.

That's left-back Antonio Luna to you, me, and the Iberian peninsula.

Liverpool 1-0 Stoke

One thing you absolutely must do is take full advantage if your team is lucky enough to play in the early game on the opening weekend.

And even your striker is a reject from two of your main rivals be bold with your predictions, if he scores on the opening day, then what's to stop him being a goal machine all season?

On the flip side, if one of your team's players lets you down in some way, stay calm, take deep breaths, take it on the chin and sabotage his Wikipedia page.

And if you have a strong feeling about something do not to let facts get in the way of your opinion.

Swansea City 1-4 Manchester United

One swallow DOES make a summer. All those doubts about David Moyes instantly washed away.

And if your team loses, no fear, there are always other sports

Chelsea 2-0 Hull City

Victory over a promoted side = the second coming

Pre-season friendly win + goal in the 14th minute of an unrelated game = smug tweet.

Crystal Palace 0-1 Tottenham Hotspur

Put your money where your mouth is

One man team?

Norwich 2-2 Everton

If you have sold one striker and signed a new one, that does not mean you need to buy a new shirt.

And there is no limit to the potential of a young talent.

Sunderland 0-1 Fulham

You may be considered one of the great football thinkers, having written books and countless articles about the history of the game and its complex tactical philosophies. You may have then delighted in your team's summer signings – but that doesn't mean you are not allowed to overreact less than 90 minutes into the season.

But if your team wins thanks to a goal from an unlikely hero – such as Pajtim Kasami - you'll do anything for him.

West Bromwich Albion 0-1 Southampton

If you do lose on the opening day, you can at least relish in the misery of underachieving local rivals.

And if you made a pre-season prediction that has been somewhat justified after the first day of the season remember to remind people of that fact because it has now been proven as an undoubted fact for the rest of the season.

West Ham 2-0 Cardiff

Time for more of that schadenfreude

And keep the blue flag flying high (even if your club owner has changed it to a red one)

Complied by Seán Fay (@Sean_Fay)

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