Early Doors

Public Enemy No. 1

Early Doors

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Even though their old ground was nicknamed the 'Highbury library'
(sadly, no quiet places rhyme with 'Emirates'), Arsenal fans are capable of making noise.

Only this season, most of it has been directed at their own
players.

In December, fans reduced Emmanuel Eboue to tears when they
booed his every move in a particularly useless display against Wigan, forcing Arsene Wenger to take Eboue - himself a
substitute - off.

But that is nothing compared with the vitriol aimed at
Emmanuel Adebayor, whose move to Manchester
City appears in danger of
stalling, raising the hilarious prospect of an outcome that nobody seems to
want; Adebayor staying at Arsenal.

Adebayor stands accused of the worst offence any footballer
can commit - that of not trying.

Comparing his electric, 30-goal 2007/08 campaign with last
season's lacklustre showing, it is
hard to argue that he has given 100 per cent.

Obviously, he hasn't
helped his cause by saying things like this: "Barcelona have made me a good financial offer.
Either Arsenal give me what I want and I stay or they don't
and I leave."

Or this: "I
often speak to Adriano Galliani on the phone. Milan have won the Champions League on seven
occasions - Arsenal have never won it."

The final straw
came in the Champions League humiliation at home to Manchester United in May,
in which Adebayor spent 90 minutes standing in the centre-circle impersonating
a scarecrow.

He could not have
put in less effort if he had been chauffeured around the pitch in a golf buggy.

Such is the anger that some have even deployed the A-bomb of
insults; that Adebayor is worse than Nicklas Bendtner.

ED thinks that is a bit harsh - on current form you would
have to call it a nil-nil draw.

The pair were so useless last season that if they were to
repeat their on-pitch butting match of 2008, most Gooners would lock them in a
windowless cell to whack away at each other until their heads were reduced to a
bloody, gelatinous pulp.

A spoof Michael Owen-style brochure has been doing the
rounds on the internet, touting Adebayor to prospective buyers, in which he is
variously described as:

"Definitely not lazy."

"Extremely good at dancing which makes other people laugh."

"Much better than Marlon Harewood and Mido put
together."

"A tender and considerate lover."

The brochure also notes: "Emmanuel believes in God and
puts his success down to his faith, but does not blame God when he misses an
easy chance in front of goal."

It is in everyone's
interests for Adebayor to leave Arsenal, but anyone thinking his exit will
signal a reversal in the Gunners'
fortunes is dreaming.

If Arsenal were serious about contending for silverware they
would have made a concerted effort to sign Samuel Eto'o,
David Villa, Karim Benzema or even Didier Drogba.

Instead they are going to sign Marouane Chamakh from Bordeaux.

Despite looking a little too much like Jeremie Aliadiere for
comfort, the Moroccan is a good player. But is a man who has never scored more
than 13 goals in a French league season really going to bring the good times
back to the Emirates?

- - -

ED recently suggested that Liam Gallagher replace Garry Cook
as Manchester City's
executive chairman, but the Oasis front man might want to bring his brother with him,
given Noel's bang-on analysis of the
John Terry situation.

Noel said: "I don't
like John Terry and I never have. He's
got funny eyes and he's a cry baby. He's also a cockney and he'd
absolutely be coming just for the money."

He might have added that, despite hailing from Barking in East London, Terry was a boyhood Manchester United fan.

Quite normally for the captain of Chelsea,
Terry was part of the squad that travelled to the US for a pre-season tour.

Somehow, this created some kind of furore among the press,
who reported it as concrete proof he would stay at Stamford Bridge.

ED has no idea whether he will sign for Manchester City
or not, but is confident that, if a deal were struck, Sheikh Mansour could
afford to fly Terry back to the UK.

- - -

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "To me, it's
about creative visualisation." David Beckham reads some in-no-way prepared
remarks about why he is still committed to MLS. Hear him spout management-speak
here.

FOREIGN VIEW: Marca claims that Barcelona
officials are in Italy
to thrash out a deal for Inter striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic. It is thought they
will offer 40 million euros plus Samuel Eto'o
and the season-long loan of Alex Hleb. Live transfer news here.

COMING UP: If it's
live sport you're after, then quite
frankly football can take a hike.

The second round of The Open is already under way, and you
can follow it all day.

England
are in a good-but-not-great position in the second Ashes Test against Australia at Lord's
- play starts at 11:00 UK
time.

The Tour de France continues, and the mountains return - not
before time. There are a few big climbs on the trip from Vittel to Colmar, so expects to see
some gristle-thighed Basques in the mix instead of our man Cav.

ON SATURDAY: Follow LIVE text commentary of four pre-season games; Malaysia v
Manchester United (10:30 UK
time), Orlando Pirates v Manchester City (14:00), Barnet v Arsenal (15:00) and Seattle
Sounders v Chelsea
(20:00).

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