Early Doors

United go back to the 80s

Early Doors

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It's a picture special this morning, and ED knows just how much you all love those.

Pictures of Manchester United's new kit have emerged, and it's a throwback to the 1980/81 season.

A strange choice perhaps, seeing as United finished eighth in the table and sacked manager Dave Sexton midway through the season. Just shows how any era, however dismal, can be made sexy by a decent TV programme (in this case, Ashes to Ashes).

Steve Coppell models that year's kit above - expect more of the same in a couple of months' time, perhaps minus the unprotected chunky wedding ring. Although ED has certainly seen that hairdo on Park Ji-Sung.

So ED wondered what the Premier League would look like if every team turned the clock back 30 years.

Simple but effective, and ED isn't talking about Graeme Souness's moustache. The fans would love a comeback for this strip, and it would save Liverpool's owners a few bob:

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And how about those Liverpool fans? Those dandyish stripes explode the myth of the 80s as a decade of mouth-breathing thugs in the stands. Not a shellsuit in sight:

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A collectors' item: Clive Allen in an Arsenal shirt - seen on a football pitch for the first and only time. And if Arsene Wenger is such a football purist, he won't mind kitting his players out in tight cotton shirts.

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In ED's humble opinion, this Tottenham kit is an all-time classic and thoroughly deserving of a comeback - Ossie Ardiles and company sported it on their way to FA Cup triumph:

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This West Ham kit is actually pretty good, although Trevor Brooking was wearing it at Division Two grounds up and down the country. Nonetheless, it is streets ahead of the present shirt.

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Manchester City are short of keepers, so why not give Joe Corrigan a call? It's only three decades since his prime. Incidentally, check out the natty ball - better than the seasonal yellow nonsense we have at the moment:

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Speaking of natty balls, here's Alan Ball in action for Southampton, who are missing a trick by refusing to return to the days of the single massive white stripe.

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Yes, this picture of Nottingham Forest is from the 1979/80 season, but ED just wanted to include Kenny Burns's toothless grin. Forest would probably sacrifice a few teeth to get that close to the European Cup again:

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Here's Aston Villa's Tony Morley, but ED is more excited about the what the linesman is wearing in the background. He looks like a pilgrim who has just stepped off the Mayflower. Kit today's officials out like that and the Respect campaign would be well and truly dead.

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Everton needn't bother with a throwback - this photo was taken at the precise moment everything was ruined by shirt sponsorship. Not even the hirsute Mick Ferguson can make it look good:

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Unfortunately for Chelsea, their history stretches back only as far as 2004, when Jose Mourinho dropped his trousers and shone a maginficent beam of light on West London, creating the club, its players and a hotel with a stadium tacked on to the end.

Since they did not exist in 1980, they could instead pay tribute to Jose by taking to the field wearing nothing but a smirk. It wouldn't be the first time Frank Lampard was caught naked on camera.

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Normal service (i.e. a word-based blog) resumes tomorrow. Entering all those photos was surprisingly time-consuming...

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