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Uncle Chael Sonnen’s storytime hour

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Chael Sonnen, he of the brilliant post-fight speeches and the trash talking that inspires entire countries to hate him, spoke to a group of young wrestlers before the Journeyman Duals in New York state in November.

He discussed the subject of intensity and how a wrestler must always one-up his opponent to get better. Sounds great, until he wanders off into examples.

"If he clubs you, you club him back as hard or harder. If he slaps you, punch him. If he punches you, kick him. If he kicks you, stab him. If he stabs you, shoot him. If he shoots you, go kill his whole family."

Ah, Chael. Luckily, the children burst into laughter immediately after this speech, signaling that they know Sonnen is not serious in telling children to shoot and stab each other. Sonnen also points out that he doesn't want anyone to get hurt.