The Rundown

The many, many faces of Phil Jones

The Rundown

With the championship all but decided, Manchester United's derby against Manchester City was effectively a dead rubber - but that didn't mean it was devoid of interest or entertainment.

Not only did fans enjoy the sight of two top teams going at it and a Sergio Aguero wonderstrike to break United hearts again, there was also the unparalleled joy of seeing Britain's most rubber-faced footballer, Phil Jones, gurning at his absolute finest.

So much so, in fact, that we decided he was well worth a tribute - and here it is:

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Bad loser alert! Phil sulks after losing a game of Hokey Cokey by putting both arms in at the same time

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The experimental surgery to create the perfect Siamese utility player was a horrifying failure

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Phil always puts up a fight when it's time for his brother to drag him to playschool

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Auditioning for 'The Ringer 2: England Duty'

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Phil completely misunderstands Roy Hodgson's instructions to "try and pick your opponent's pocket"

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Auditioning for Superman V: The Quest for Peas

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'Honest, Giggsy, I never went anywhere near your Wotsits!'

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Auditioning for '110% commitment: The John Terry Story'

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Among Phil's many skills is the ability to play imaginary castanets while being fouled

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'It's not fair, ref! He's karate chopping me in the ribs!'

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Phil grimaces as he runs along carrying a giant invisible skunk:

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'Oh my god! I forgot to put the dishwasher on!'

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The infamous Old Trafford Sink Hole claims another unwary victim

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'Oi, Gareth! Your arm stubble is really hurting my chin!'

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'Oh no! He's smelling my armpits and I forgot my deodorant!...'

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'...Still, at least I remembered to shave this morning.'

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Calamity for Jonesy as a giant sneeze sees him lose all his nostril hair

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Wakey wakey! It's a photoshoot, not a sleepover!

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'Nooo! The balllll isss miiinnnneeee!'

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Phil's decision to take a giant green puppet onto the pitch robbed him of his usual turn of pace

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'I see DEAD PEOPLE!'

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Phil's horror at Sergio Aguero's goal is compounded as he hears, in the distance, the sound of Alex Ferguson plugging in his hairdryer

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Phil shrieks in terror as he realises that a Jack Russell has done its business on the pitch at Ewood Park

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