World of Sport

‘I had already started a cheese sandwich’

World of Sport

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"I
take some of the blame. To walk off was very naive, a bit stupid. It looked like the ball had gone for four, but just to walk off for tea
was a bit stupid. According to the rules I was out, but the end decision was
right for the spirit of the game and the way both teams handled the situation
was fantastic."

- Yes, but on the bright side, Ian Bell,
your action did prompt one of the finest examples of sportsmanship in recent
times from MS Dhoni. So in the end, Belly, maybe it was for the best?

"When the guys came in at Tea there was
a sense of awkwardness. [MS] Dhoni and the boys thought it was the right thing
to do"
 - India veteran batsman Rahul Dravid, staying classy like San Diego.

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"I had already started a cheese
sandwich, so it was definitely Tea"
Graeme Swann, England spinner, brings a final - conclusive? - perspective to the
Bell conundrum on Twitter.

"Has
Vaseline on the outside edge saved the day for Laxman?"
- Several hundred
angry tweets later, Michael Vaughan might
just regret asking that particular question.

"I told Lavezzi's
agent that I want the player for a day in my boat so I'll brainwash him."

- Napoli president Aurelio De Laurentiis wants
his star striker Ezequiel Lavezzi to look deep into his eyes as he waves a
pocket watch in front of him, before putting a nice new contract on the desk to
sign.

"You and your
paper can f*** off."
- You mellow
with age, unless you're Sir Alex
Ferguson
, who had some choice words for the Mail on Sunday's Bob Cass in
the mixed zone of their latest pre-season friendly.

"Judging
by the pre-planned squeals the media monkeys are making, Hearts has hit the
point with the move. I believe that with only one competitive win in 15 games,
only fools and idiots would not raise questions and suspicions. I now
understand why Scotland is in 61st place in Fifa rankings behind such poor
football countries like Lithuania, Albania and Gabon."
- Note to aspiring sport
journalists: when you're short of something to write, just wave a microphone
under Vladimir Romanov's nose and
hit the record button on your dictaphone.

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"We are very quick in the race. In
qualifying it is nice to see we have made some improvements, and nice to see we
are up there with the Red Bulls now. They should be worried."
- Sebastian
Vettel might have an 85-point lead at the top of drivers' standings, but Jenson Button reckons the German
shouldn't enjoy his summer holiday. As you can see on the right, he also appears to have won the arm-wrestling contest after triumphing at the Hungarian GP.

"I haven't seen much of Nathan
Lyon. I've spoken to him but still haven't seen him face to face."
- Michael Clarke gives a telling
assessment of new Australia spinner Lyon ahead of the tour to Sri Lanka. Still,
on the plus side, what better chance to bond than on a trip together?

"I'm not happy in Manchester, I don't like the city. Everything's okay with the coach and my team-mates, but the city is not to my taste." - Mario Balotelli might not like Manchester, but we'd miss him if he went away...

"That first tee shot I was pretty
nervous, but it felt awesome." -
Tiger
Woods
in 'I like golf' shocker - but the American looking comfortable and
confident on his return to competitive action at the WGC-Bridgestone
Invitational at Firestone was one of sport's biggest stories of the week.

"Hundreds of boys get married
and then come into work after the weekend."
- True - but, Mike Tindall, how many of those hundreds
are marrying princesses?

"After five
incredible years, (it's) heart-breaking my team won't continue next year."

- HTC-Highroad are folding next year, and Mark
Cavendish
isn't happy about it. Perhaps that's in part because it means the
his Lebron James-style 'decision' about where he'll ride next year is going to
be just a touch less surprising.

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And a week in quotes with Joey Barton...

August 1 - "I will be making an announcement
regarding my future, on here at 4pm today........" - Barton on
Twitter

August 1, 15:40 - "Newcastle United can confirm
that Joey Barton has been placed on the transfer list. The player has been advised
that he can leave the club on a free transfer." - NUFC's website.

August 1 - "Somewhere
in those high echelons of NUFC, they have decided, I am persona non grata. I am
on a free but the honour of wearing those B+W stripes, surpasses that. One day
the board might realise, what the shirt signifies. HONOUR and PRIDE. Thanks for
your continued support........... #toonarmy." - Barton on Twitter

August 2 - "In times of
universal deceit, telling the truth will be a revolutionary act. George Orwell"
- Barton on Twitter

August 2 - "Made
to train alone today, how predictable...." - Barton on Twitter

August 2 - "Ha
ha the inevitable, 2 weeks wages fine has just arrived. Needless to say it
shall be appealed forthwith. #kickingamanwhenhesdownha" - Barton on
Twitter

August 3 -
"Quote of the day: If the freedom of speech is taken
away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter. George
Washington" - Barton on Twitter

August 4 - "@Joey7Barton Joey, you're a good
player, in form, and I look forward to reporting on you wherever. Hope it's at #nufc. Fans deserve it." Henry Winter wades into the Barton debate

August 4 - "@henrywinter Henry, you're an ok
reporter, in form, and I look forward to reading those reports. Hope it's at #telegraph. Fans deserve it." Barton on
Twitter

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