World of Sport

Quotes of the Week: “You’ve just got to go with what’s in your pants”

World of Sport

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RYDER CUP HEROES

"It was such a fine line between being the hero and the biggest idiot. Fortunately it went the right way." - Martin Kaymer reflects on the put that retained the Ryder Cup for Europe.

"When I was standing behind the ball and then when I bent down Bernhard's miss crossed my mind for half a second. But it didn't have any influence in a positive or negative way... If you stick to the facts it was the easiest putt you can have despite all the circumstances because it was uphill and an inside the right line. There is no easier putt. We have that putt millions of times and I had to try to forget about the Ryder Cup." - Kaymer admits that before rolling in his critical putt he thought about the most famous miss in Ryder Cup history: the six-footer hit by his compatriot Bernhard Langer on the final green of the final match to lose the Cup in 1991. And yet Kaymer still nailed it. This is why Germans win penalty shoot-outs.

"I haven't won a Major and everyone keeps telling me I haven't won a Major. But for me the Ryder Cup has been my Major and I wouldn't trade my memories or my time in the Ryder Cup. That trophy has meant so much to so many people over the years." - Ian Poulter says that winning the Ryder Cup is better than a Major. Not that he would know. Yet.

"I was in a police car, beside a policeman. He was getting through traffic. I got here with about 10 minutes to spare, put my shoes on, couple of putts. Just your average monthly medal back at the course." - Rory McIlory on almost missing his tee time for his singles match on Sunday.

"It's the most nervous I have ever been driving to a golf course. If I was playing for myself it would be fine — it would be my own fault. But if I let down these other 11 boys and vice-captains and the captain and everyone supporting us this week, I would never have forgiven myself." - McIlroy again on what he would have felt if he hadn't made it.

"You have just got to go with what's in your pants." - Nicolas Colsaerts makes a rather bold claim on day one.

RETIREMENT AND RE-INTEGRATION

"I have decided to retire by the end of the year, although I am still able and capable to compete with the best drivers that are around. But at some point, it is good to say goodbye. And that is what I am doing here... and it might this time even be forever." - Michael Schumacher brings the curtain down on the most successful F1 career in history ... we think.

"ECB and Kevin Pietersen confirm that agreement has been reached concerning a process for his re-integration into the England team during the remainder of 2012. Upon completion of the programme, the England Selectors will consider Kevin for future matches." - The ECB sounds as though it is trying to deprogramme KP following a visit to a cult as he returns to the England squad.

FOOTBALL'S WORD PLAY

"(Terry's defence was) improbable, implausible and contrived... At no point is his demeanour and facial expression that of someone who is imploring, injured, or even quizzical in the face of an unfounded allegation by Mr Ferdinand that he had just been racially abusive towards him. Anger is a conceivable reaction to such an accusation, but at no time does Mr. Terry convey any sense of 'no, I didn't' with his facial expression, or body language. In the light of those findings, the commission is quite satisfied, on the balance of probabilities, that there is no credible basis for Mr Terry's defence." - The report of the FA's independent commission explains why John Terry was found guilty of racially abusing Anton Ferdinand.

"I very much doubt it. He hasn't played for England for quite a while. I have to say it is over for him and England. It has got to be the end of the road. He is pushing 34 and hasn't played for England for a long, long time." - Roy Hodgson enlivens a tube trip to Arsenal by kindly informing his fellow passengers that Rio Ferdinand's international career is over.

"If you keep telling a big enough lie people will start believing it. I've got a Greek player playing for his country and had South Koreans playing for theirs. I've got Nigerians, Scots, Irish, Welsh and Hondurans playing for their countries. Why is it a taboo when it comes to England." - Celtic manager Neil Lennon wonders why goalkeeper Fraser Forster and Gary Hooper don't get their chance with England. Forster was named in England's World Cup qualifying squad 24 hours later.

"You mean I won't be able to play on Sunday?" - A commendably brave Carles Puyol fails to grasp the severity of his injury after being told by a physio that he suffered a nasty discloated elbow which will rule him out for eight weeks.

"I hate my social life. I hate not to be a normal father who goes with his son to his football match and be there with the 20 other fathers watching the game. The people have to come for photos; the people have to come for autographs; the people have come to insult me; the people have to go behind the goal of my kid to insult a 12-year-old kid. People think they know me, but they don't." - Jose Mourinho sheds light on the life of a Special One in an extensive interview with CNN.

"Someone asked me about tighty whities the other day, and I love them! They're comfortable. I think they feel great, especially when you're playing soccer, as well. It's [comfortable]. But I wear boxers as well." - Clothes horse David Beckham wades in on the great underwear debate.

BEST OF THE REST

"I tried to hold his wrists, and he began biting me. I took him to the principal's office, and he kicked me in the ankle, and one kick landed right on my knee. I felt a pop.'' - New York teacher John Webster, a former college football star, explains how he was beaten up at work - by a six-year-old pupil.

"The dance steps being performed are fine. But the thing is that in an event like this you need good looking girls, and to get the beautiful girls who are professional dancers, you have to pay more. The payment is not that great. The style and fashion is okay, but the quality of the dresses is poor. The girls are not comfortable, the tights they are wearing slip down while dancing and the girls are busy tying them here and there. Most of our dancers will not wear shorts for an event like this because they are conscious that parents are watching." - World Twenty20 official Sudev Abeysekarara casts doubt on the quality of cheerleaders at the tournament. Watch out for flying pom-poms.

"I did better than expected." A modest Robert Marchand reflects on his success in cycling 100km (62 miles) at an average speed of just under 15mph. Not bad for a man who turns 101 in November.

"I was turned away from the school because I had not been CRB checked. I couldn't believe it. Government guidelines state that parents are allowed to watch games. But any strangers can be questioned and requested to show the appropriate paperwork, which is fair enough. George was really upset by it all. What are they going to stop you going to next? Parents' evening? The school play?" - Parent Neil Park reacts with incredulity after being turned away from his son's rugby match as he did not have a full criminal background check.

"We just need to play, coach every day and prepare like we have and not get caught up with snot bubbles and tears. They don't beat anybody," Indianapolis Colts interim coach Bruce Arians tells his team to keep their emotions in check after coach Chuck Pagano was diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukaemia.

"I've been fighting for more than 24 years and as I continue my ascendant career, I want to be true to myself. I want to try to be the best role model I can be for kids who might look into boxing as a sport and a professional career. I have and will always be a proud Puerto Rican. I have always been and always will be a proud gay man." - Orlando Cruz makes history when becoming the first openly gay professional boxer.

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