• Chelsea Message Board

  • Le Professeur Le Professeur Jan 15, 2010 21:39 Flag

    How to Control Your Woman!

    According to Goel Ratzon, the self proclaimed 'Messiah', dubbed by the press as the Israeli Josef Fritzel.....


    1 No women shall marry nor shall any woman attack another, either verbally or physically.

    Fine: 2,000 shekels (£330) into the family kitty

    2 No woman shall question another about her whereabouts.

    Fine: 100 shekels

    3 No conversation is permitted in rooms other than the living room. It is forbidden to talk nonsense.

    Fine: 200 shekels

    4 No woman shall sit idle when there are dishes to be washed, cleaning to be done, children to look after etc.

    Fine: 2,000 shekels

    5 Any two women caught fighting will be punished equally.
    Fine: 2,000 shekels

    6 It is absolutely forbidden to question Ratzon on his whereabouts or intention.

    Fine: 400 shekels

    7 It is permissible to ask to accompany him; but refusal is to be accepted without appeal.

    Fine: 300 shekels

    8 No woman shall interrupt Ratzon or intervene in matters not concerning her.

    Fine: 500 shekels

    9 All orders are to be obeyed immediately.

    Fine: 300 shekels

    10 No woman shall work while a man of over 12 years of age is in the house.

    Fine 3,000 shekels


    I'll have to run these by the missus later!

    Probably a good idea to make sure I am wearing a 'cup' and possibly some protective head gear!!!