Manchester United Message Board
New train service form Old Trafford
The Prawn United express will operate form old trafford on each Match day to serve the large number of prawn brigade supporters. The train will depart each match day 20 minutes before the end of at half time if it looks like its going to be a dodgy result.
Shortly after departure the train will stop at Sainsburys to collect the buffet consignment of champagne, caviar, lobster thermadore and other crustacean delicacies for the fans to enoy on their arduous route home
The train will them take a route northwards and eastwards parallel to the M62 to the first drop of Prawnies at Leeds. At this pointthe back carraige will be uncoupled fitted with armour plating, wire mesh windows and sprayed with anti viral and bacterial agents before proceeding on its journey northwards to that anal cavity of England called Middlesbrough.
Meanwhile, the main carraiges will proceed southwards towards London where fans will be able to enjoy on train entertainment with videos of “All our yesterdays” and the delightful cuisine as well as the opportunity to purchase uniquely Man Utd products including the disposable, redyable team shirts and scarfs.
Complimentary champagne and canapes and of course ‘PS’ will be seved throughout the journey. Also a centre aisle fashion show with real models will display the latest creations in David Beckham handbags and Rio Ferdinand lingerie.
The Duty Free Shop will have an outstanding number of products available for sale including the following new lines:
Wines: From the slopes of the Pennine vineyards -Beetroot Bordeaux Wine By
Chateau de Axel Friggison
Rio Ferdinand Anti Perspirant
Ri20,000 Harmony Hair Spray
Silvestre sleeping tablets (If you want to doze off on the journey home)
(*We are sorry to announce the withdrawal of the Roy Keane Sore Throat pastilles due to lack of sales)
On arrival at London the PUE will make stops at Chelsea, Kensington, Mayfair, Notting Hill to offload the main contingent of supporters before proceeding onwards to its final destination at Bristol.
Train returns to Manchester on home match days.
Tickets must be purchased at least 15 minutes after the game has started, and though non refundable – they are transferable.