• Manchester United Message Board

you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the posts
  • Owen Owen Jul 14, 2009 15:35 Flag

    Tevez signs for City

    Allow me on behalf of Social Services to ask for your understanding and sympathy of the behaviour of "Dirty Barry". Barry is not his actual name but the 'dirty' does refer to an unfortunate uncontrollable bowel disfunction he has suffered all throughout his life.

    Please understand, he has not had an easy life on this earth, he has suffered neglect, abuse and great deprivation. His first hours after birth were spent in a sanitary disposal bucket in the women's toilet at a bus station. He was rescued by a cleaner who passed him onto the local hospital for a clean up before he was passed from pillar to post and rejected by various foster parents who all felt that he had a face that even a mother couldn't love.
    He eventually ended up living in hostels, one in which I visited him was a 4x6 foot room with wash basin and bucket. He was happy at first spending hours pleasuring himself over a full size Gary Glitter poster which adorned the wall next to his small bed. He was evicted on after being unable to form human relationships with other people and commiting an indecent act with the hostel cat..
    He once asked me why people took an instant dislike to him and I didn't have the heart to tell him that it saved time. When he left the hostel the warden said 'I never forget a face but in your case I'm going to make an exception".

    I track his progress and movements via the dog tag round his ankle which the courts insisted he wear at all times. Some months ago his low self esteem drove him to insert a powerful 6'' log firework into his anal cavity and set fire to the touchpaper (* read press reports Sunderland Echo)- he hoped this would make him popular but he ended up in Sunderland Royal Infirmary with serious internal injuries.

    Currently he is moving between the less salubrious areas between Sunderland and Middlesborough and my last meeting with him he had descended (if that were possible) to sleeping in wheely bins. He occasionally goes off to vent his anger on sports boards usiing DSS computers but is soon moved off through people complaining at the disgusting smell that comes with his presence.

    Not a nice story about the sad individual and for those get upset at his contributions please understand it is his only release from the anxiety of his desperate life in the depths of society