• Tottenham Hotspur Message Board

  • Evil Bread Man Evil Bread Man Oct 24, 2008 23:11 Flag

    And now for something completely different

    well bollox but ive had some good txts today

    just thought i'd share them

    Paddy & Mick go on a rollercoaster. Mick says to Paddy "If we turn upside down will we fall out?"Paddy says " Will we f**k, we've been mates for years"


    2 irish men - 1 digging a hole - the other filling it in. After 6 holes a woman asks " why are you digging a hole and then the other filling it in?"Paddy says "There are usually three of us but the 1 that plants the trees has phoned in sick"

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    • that was a good joke, it made me titter.

    • Chap get's a prescription for viagara from his doctor after explaining he's got a hot date coming round. Next day he returns:
      How did it go?" days doc. man pull his member out and it's in tatters - all cut and bruised.
      "bloody hell!" says doc, "I'd better give you something for that"
      "how about some deep heat?" says the man.
      "You can't put deep heat on that".
      "It's for my arm - she didn't turn up"

    • paul walks into a chemist asking for viagra......
      "you need a prescription for that" the chemist replies,
      "have you seen my mrs" answers paul.

    • lol, i can appreciate that, for once i laughed at something on this board other than the spurs position and its extremely stooooopid support.

      i,m off for a wank, with me left hand, it feels like somebody else.

    • A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" Flabbyarse raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the Flabby, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

    • Good jokes Alfy!! both classics!!

      3 men go up to heaven, St. Peter says to the first bloke.. "Heaven is a big place, and you'll need a set of wheels to get round - but because you've been unfaithful all your life you will only get a Ford Escort"

      St. Peter say's to the second bloke "Heaven is a big place, and you'll need a set of wheels to get round - but because you have only been unfaithful twice in your life, here are the keys to a Ferrari"

      St. Peter say's to the third bloke "Heaven is a big place, and you'll need a set of wheels to get round - and because you have been faithful to your wife every day, here are the keys to a Rolls Royce Silver Shadow"

      2 weeks later St. Peter see's the bloke sitting in his Rolls Royce crying his eyes out.. "What's wrong?" said St. Peter...
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      Third bloke say's through his tears "While I was driving the other day, I saw my wife go past on a skateboard"

    • Both very old Alfie but still as good as ever.

      Bill & Ben in bed. Bill said to Ben "fleeble fleeble fob"

      Ben said "if you really loved me you'd swallow that"