• Middlesbrough Message Board

  • 53,000 Geordies meet in St James Park for a "Geordies Are Not Stupid"
    convention.

    Alan Shearer addresses the crowd "We are all here today to prove to the
    world that Geordies are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer please ?" Gazza
    gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

    Shearer asks him "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds Gazza
    says,"Eighteen!"

    Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then the Geordies start
    chanting "Give him another chance! Give him another chance!"

    Shearer says "Well since we have a capacity crowd, world-wide press and
    global broadcast media here, I think we can give him another chance. So he
    asks "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds Gazza eventually
    says,"Ninety?"

    Shearer looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh. Everyone is
    disheartened and Gazza starts crying.

    But then the 53,000 Geordies begin to yell and wave their hands shouting
    "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

    Shearer, unsure whether he is now doing more harm than good eventually says,
    " What is 2 plus 2?"

    Silence hangs over the stadium. Gazza closes his eyes, and after a whole
    minute eventually says, "Four?"

    Pandemonium breaks out throughout the stadium as the Geordie crowd stand to
    a man, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream .............


    "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"



    Note - got this off my gf, who got it off her dad who supports Newcastle and who is a Geordie

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    • Fingers crossed Davey lad, Tuncay IS one of those players that runs his guts out every game, plays with a lot of heart and even though he never scored in his first 12 games..his work rate ensured the crowd didn’t get on his back..and now he#$%$ the back of the net.
      Yakubu & Viduka...we are well shot of...even though Yak is doing well now…..wait till after Christmas ...he will be strolling around eating mars bars and scratching his #$%$.
      Anyway, have a good Christmas Davey..I fly into Newcastle on Monday...the old dear is none too clever so I am in sunny Teesside until Jan 3rd.
      Boro play Everton on New Years day, if its live on telly, look out for me...I will be the good looking b@$tard hurling Gregs pasties at Yakubu's head.

    • Aye aye,C.J., if you were to go back to posts we exchanged in june you will see that I haven`t changed my mind about the fat lad.I said back then that he didn`t run around enough for my liking and I`ve so far seen nowt from him to change my mind.Truth is it worries me that our manager was daft enough to sign him.With regard to Yakubu,your right I`d rather have him than Viduka but in my opinion he`s a bit of a lazy tw@t as well.Anyway never mind what I think,waddaboot the lad Tuncay do you think the floodgates may have opened ?

    • oooo that was a low blow Davey, go on hit us in our attendance figures as well...actually Aliaddywhatseezface scored on Saturday....it was disallowed but at least someone has told him where the back of the net is......As for Viduka...I bet you wish you had bought Yakubu

    • 53,000 Geordies! I bet that took some writing? Did yr nose start bleeding when you wrote capacity crowd??

    • Two Aliens are flying over the Amazon River in their Space ship, when they spot a local tribesman paddling downstream singing to himself.

      “Ah! A primitive earthling” says one Alien fukker, “lets Experiment on him”

      Quick as a flash they beam him aboard their vessel, scoop out half his brain, sew him back up and beam him back into his canoe.
      The jungle fella carries on as normal, paddling away, singing his jungle song.

      “Hmm”. Says the other green #$%$, “obviously we must remove more of his brain for him to change his tune”.

      So they beam him up again, scoop out another piece and put him back in his canoe.
      Again the tribesman carries on paddling along and singing the same jungle chant regardless.

      “Curious” says the first three-headed c%nt “it seems we must remove even more”

      Again they beam him aboard, but this time they remove all of his remaining brain, sew him up and beam him back to the canoe
      .
      “Now let us see how he sings with no brain!!” says the Alien.

      The tribesman paddles off singing “Fog on the Tyne is all mine all mine, fog on the Tyne is all mine….”

      • 1 Reply to Boro CJ
      • Sorry to step in guys, but your jokes inspired me:


        Sam Allardyce has got fed up with his team not performing and wants to know how the league leaders do it so he sent Alan Shearer on a trip down south to see how Arsene Wenger trains the Arsenal squad.

        Alan's patiently watching, when AW calls over Robin Van Persie. "Robin, I'm not your brother, but your uncle's son. Who am I?" Robin immediately answered "You'd be my cousin"

        Alan looked bemused, and asked "Wha was that all aboot?" AW explained that asking quick fire questions helped to keep their minds alert.

        Bouyed by the idea, Alan shot back up to the Toon and reported back to Big Sam. Next day at training, they were both stood on the sidelines, when Alan called over James Milner and Nicky Butt. Alan pointed at Nicky and asked James "He's not your brother, but your uncle's son. Who is he?"

        James looked puzzled, then answered "He'd be my cousin?"

        Alan smacked him and said "No you twat, he's Robin Van Persie!"

        Big Sam then smacked Alan, and said "No it's not, it's Arsene Wenger?"