• Middlesbrough Message Board

  • viwer viwer May 13, 2008 03:56 Flag

    Man City players stunned by noxious fumes

    In the final EPL game of the season at Middlesbrough, the visiting team Man City were overcome by strong toxic fumes 3 minutes after the kick off - and were subjected to an 8-1 trouncing. The whole team wandered around the pitch for 90 minutes in a complete daze allowing the home team Middlesbrough to score 8 easy goals out of 75 chances. How a City managed to score 1 goal in their mesmerised state is subject to a steward's inquiry.
    On leaving the pitch all players required assistance for breathing problems and, in he interests of safety, the club doctor felt necessary for the whole squad to be shipped to Middlesbrough general Hospital where they all spent the night in oxygen tents in the hospital’s Michael Jackson Ward. This morning the whole squad were stretchered onto an awaiting Chinook helicopter (piloted by Prince William) and flown back to Manchester with a platoon of Ghurkhas providing security cover.

    Investigations are underway to find the cause of this noxious smell and already allegations are surfacing about possible foul play. Middlesbrough is well known as a city with a thriving sewage recycling industry which by coincidence is owned by Middlesbrough FC millionaire Steve Gibson. The factories receive human and animal waste from all over U.K, the excrement is heated, dried and then reshaped and made into DFS furniture.
    On the day of the match the factory turbines were operating at full strength and the extractor fan outlets directed at full power towards the Riverside stadium together with large scale betting on high scoring at Betfreds betting shops in Middlesbrough.

    An FA spokesman said today that the allegations will be investigated but only one thing can certain: Sven Goran Erikkson is out of a job.

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    • You whiley old fox, I can see I will need to keep my chickens safe from you!

      Totally agree that Bellamy is one of the worse pikey gobshites in the league. Something happened at your place where he did an interview in which he competely lied and call Sheppards and Souness bluff. They intern said the interview was compelete rubbish and kicked him out. Cannot remember the issue, faking an injury or not playing or something like that? He currently gets paid for not playing football!

      The paper talk this morning is he has turned down the wage reduction.

    • Just got back from Villamoura in Portugal C.J. It`s taking forever to get over it...............you know the score............Too many fizzy drinks and not enough sleep ! Jeez I`m gettin old,it`s getting even harder to play the damm game in an alchoholic haze when my hands are shakin........... Apart from that I`m off to Cork in July but no plans for the Costa del Crime this year.

    • I agree, we all make mistakes in our younger days and should at least get the chance to turn things around for the better. A bit of bird may make him realise what a pr@t he's been and he could come back all the better for it. If he drops a bollok again though wash your hands of the lad.
      You over this year for golf Davey ?

    • I wasn`t slow to work you out Doug I just didn`t want you to know that I had (he he ).With regard to Michael Owen I hope they are still trying to negotiate a reduction in his contract,let`s be fair Doug there`s not a player on the planet worth the alleged £120k a week he`s on.It boils my p1ss to think that Fat Frederick Shepherd put that kind of financial noose around the clubs neck by agreeing to pay that kind of money for an injury prone player who`s best days were behind him...........Now then,Joey Barton...........I think I may be the only man on the planet who still thinks that we should stand by him.My opinion is based on his ability as a footballer and I`d rather leave the moral arguements to those on here who seem to think they are qualified to discuss them.Having said that I fully accept he is a #$%$ when he`s p1ssed but f*ck me I grew up with hundreds worse than him.He`s still got the right to earn a living once he`s paid his debt to society at Her Majesty`s pleasure and for what it`s worth, trust me, that poisonous snake A.K.A. Craig Bellamy was and is more of an obnoxious #$%$ than young Joey will ever be and he is still allowed to make a fortune from football.

    • Many thanks for the education. The difference between Downing and Taylor is Downing´s agent was a massive twit causing problems that did not exist to increase his wage (I dare say it worked) and Taylor has personally pleaded for a new deal. If anything your situation is more positive however it must be more distressing due to the lack of movement from the club.

      Do you think your club is still asking Owen to take a reduction in wages or they found the money in Barton´s contract reduction?

      Glad you have me figured it makes it all the more fun! You were a bit slow though!

    • How are the Spanish lads fitting in ? Which Spanish lads ? As far as I`m aware we only have one.............Enrique who seems to have taken a while to adjust to the pace of the Premier league,but he isn`t the first and he won`t be the last to take a while to find his feet.But tell me Doug who are the other Spanish lads you`re referring to ? With regard to Stephen Taylor,it is my understanding that Newcastle are negotiating a new deal with him,hopefully both parties will agree a deal which is mutually acceptable..................if not I guess he`s gone...........It`s no different to your man Downing last season,loads of rumours in the press that he was off to Spurs,rumours which were probably started by his agent just to get your lot to up the offer on his new deal............But I don`t suppose that counts for much with you Doug what with your double standards and your willingness to look at things differently depending on whether it`s your team or mine involved.But don`t worry on my account Doug, I`ve got you worked out alright. Oh and by the way I wasn`t "chucking contract and wages jokes around" about the Boro,I was giving you an insight into how the transfer market really works ! Take your blinkers off, you`ll see it`s true !

    • Owen got on the goal trail a little bit at the end of last season but with......

      Dukes on 80k plus Owen 17m and 120k a week plus 1 world class doctor, 3 specialists doctors, 12 nurses, 4 physios, 13 hospital visits (not inc parking), 18 hydro therapy pool sessions. You guys need 52,000 fans to pay for all this stuff!

    • There you see, a classic example...the pride involved playing for Boro far exceeds the financial gain....he....he....ha hah hahahahahahahahah...sorry Davey I tried not to laugh at my last statement but it just slipped out, ok, we will agree to differ. I too am disappointed with the Riverside attendance figures, but at least it makes you lads feel superior...until we play each other anyway ; )
      Actually I reckon after paying Mike Ashley & Mark Viduka's pie bills there isn’t much difference in revenue between our clubs.
      Next seasons predictions hmmmmm..............Boro top ten finish, Southgate has definitely learned some hard lessons from last season and hopefully we should see the rewards.
      NUFC....providing KK doesnt leg it, or Ashley doesnt #$%$ all your dough on the stock exchange should finish midtable, behind Boro, but it will be close again...one or two points in it... thats all i am saying until we see some new signings. So there’s my prediction...and the wager is ....5 milkybars and a curly whirly…..whaddayasay Geordie boy….gonna take the bet ?

    • Which facts did I mis-represent? None I think you will find (maybe the barton dig that he will still be in gaol in 2013 but I am sure he will have been released and back inside on another unrelated matter by then) Aside form that if you feel the need to claim that I am twisting the truth simply cos the truth hurts then I understand your need to try to deflect what must surely be a painful emotion for you.

      Indeed to come on this website and start chucking contract and wage jokes about the Boro must be on par with Mr Fritzl claiming his family is safe at night because they are under lock and key.

      As for refusing to waste money now...Does Steven Taylor the former England U21 capt and youth product not deserve a new contract, or do you feel he is not up to the standard of defender you require? How are all the Spanish lads fitting in anyway?

      Where will Boro finish? I hope for top 3, would love top 7, expect top half, sweat at 12 and another brown pant season if we finish lower than that!

      We need more midfield signings and the quality of these will, I think, massively shape the season. We are missing a few parts from the engine at the moment! Nice to start next season with a strike for though (quickly touching wood!).

    • Which facts did I mis-represent? None I think you will find (maybe the barton dig that he will still be in gaol in 2013 but I am sure he will have been released and back inside on another unrelated matter by then) Aside form that if you feel the need to claim that I am twisting the truth simply cos the truth hurts then I understand your need to try to deflect what must surely be a painful emotion for you.

      Indeed to come on this website and start chucking contract and wage jokes about the Boro must be on par with Mr Fritzl claiming his family is safe at night because they are under lock and key.

      As for refusing to waste money now...Does Steven Taylor the former England U21 capt and youth product not deserve a new contract, or do you feel he is not up to the standard of defender you require? How are all the Spanish lads fitting in anyway?

      Where will Boro finish? I hope for top 3, would love top 7, expect top half, sweat at 12 and another brown pant season if we finish lower than that!

      We need more midfield signings and the quality of these will, I think, massively shape the season. We are missing a few parts from the engine at the moment! Nice to start next season with a strike for though (quickly touching wood!).

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